Kompliance

I am not going to use the soup-related Seinfeld term or mention where it happened but brokerage kompliance has gone too far.  Today, I was asked to submit a topic for an upcoming webinar. Let me start by saying I have had great success with this particular webinar sponsor and the people with whom I have directly dealt are great. But the new rule passed on down from der kompliance department is ridiculous.

At first, I let it slide that they did not allow me to use ETFs as examples. I did not know why but that's the rule and they are the client, more or less.   Barron's, on the other hand, encourages me to use ETFs as that is what the audience likes and wants to read.

Now, they want to remove all names from the charts I will use. I can only guess that they want to be absolutely sure nobody takes the chart as investment advice. Perhaps that might be acceptable, if not palatable, if I used real time charts. But all charts will be at least a week old, if not four months old.

If the charts are not current, webinar attendees may not connect with them. But if they are not identifiable then I can make them up, data and all. Nobody would relate at all and my message about analysis would be lost.

Then I might have gotten a bit snotty with my contact asking if the terms "bull" and "bear" would offend "Animal-Americans."  But you get the idea. At some point, we should not have to tell someone not to spill hot coffee on themselves because it is hot. Or not to blow dry their hair while they sit in the bathtub. Or assume that someone in a teaching environment is telling them to buy a stock.  How brokers, sell side analysts and mutual fund managers cope is beyond me.

Bye Bye Bankie!

I heard the news today, oh boy! (Beatles) About how my nemesis JPMorgan-Chase-WaMu-Chemical-MannyHanny-BankOne-BearStearns was slapped with a few million in fines by the SEC and FINRA. I am doing my part by finally moving my last remaining accounts, including a fat loan that pays them many hundreds of dollar each month, to a Federal Credit Union.

Check out some of the terms offered by a credit union and compare to your commercial giant megabank.

Home Equity Line of Credit - 2.9% first year.  Prime plus zero thereafter with a 3.9% floor. Bank of America offered me 4.5% to start. My current JPM would not work with me at all.


Bounced check fee -$30 ($35 elsewhere)
Overdraft debit card purchase - under $20: zero, over $20: $10 ($35 elsewhere)
First set of personal checks - free
Ledger and business checks - free
Minimum Checking balance on interest bearish account - $5 ($500 or $1000 elsewhere)
Fee for interest bearish checking - zero

They offer everything the big bank offers, including online access to personal and business accounts all in one place for easy transfers. Their ATMs accept check deposits just like the big banks, too.

The only drawback is that the credit union does not have a branch on every corner, second only to Starbucks. But they have arrangements with hundreds of other credit unions so I can use their ATMs with no fee.

Buh bye, big bank. So glad we threw taxpayer money at a prehistoric business model.